A new blog, on average, is published about 3-8x a month, tending to offer ideas and perspectives on psychological aspects of current events, an introduction or deepening of how Dr. Denise Renye works with people, and some practices you can do blending psychology, sexology, spirituality, embodiment and art.
Press publications and mentions can be found here.
These articles are not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, coaching or therapy. Seeking the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition is imperative. Do not disregard professional psychological or medical advice. Do not delay in the seeking of professional advice or treatment because of something you have read here.
If you want a little more structure, I have some journal prompts below. Going through this process of recovering from your holiday travels and time spent with family, remember that transitions can be challenging and it makes sense you’d need a little time and space to work through whatever happened. You don’t have to “soldier on” or “suck it up.” Be with yourself and give yourself what you need, whatever that may be.
Read MoreNVC is a method of speaking and listening developed by psychologist Dr. Marshall Rosenberg based on the premise that connection more easily leads to solutions. Oftentimes when people communicate with one another it’s in a binary way: “I’m right, you’re wrong,” or “I’m good and you’re bad.” These ways of thinking often lead to anger and anger can lead to violence if it’s not expressed healthily.
Read MoreDissociation is common because the mind and body are smart. They act in ways to protect us from something traumatic. Traumatic experiences occur when our nervous systems become overwhelmed, affecting our capacity to cope both physically and on emotional or spiritual levels.
Read MoreBeing ghosted can be a traumatic experience, and it can take time to heal from it. Here are some steps you can take to help you move on:
Read MoreMany people deal with wanting to put off tasks that are hard, physically and emotionally. Perhaps you are at a job that you don’t really enjoy but stay because it’s financially advantageous. If you find yourself putting tasks off until tomorrow (or the next day…or the next day) and you have had traumatic events or relationships in your life, it may be hard to discern if the avoidance of a task is procrastination or a trauma response. Both trauma response of freeze and procrastination can involve avoidance behavior, but they have different underlying causes and motivations.
Read MoreAs a trauma-informed practice, we work with many folx who have experienced trauma. Sometimes this may result in a diagnosis of PTSD. This can feel very stigmatizing for some patients, while others feel freed by finally having a name for what is happening within them. Yet others may feel all sort of things in between. We hear PTSD on the regular these days. But what exactly is it?
Read MoreThe common response to, “I’m so nervous about this date/job interview/meeting,” is, “Don’t be nervous. I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Does hearing that actually work? Does someone saying, “Don’t be nervous,” stop you from feeling nervous? Probably not. In fact, sometimes it exacerbates it. Sharing our fears with friends often doesn’t result in the anxiety dissipating. It’s through no fault of their own, rather they aren’t trained to handle anxiety. But there’s good news…therapists are!
Read MoreAll the back and forth is putting people into turmoil. The backtracking behavior of “loans will be forgiven, oh wait, no they won’t” is intermittent conditioning and causes emotional instability. Also known as intermittent reinforcement, intermittent conditioning is emotional manipulation and abuse. There are occasional and sudden displays of reward-giving instances (such as a loan being forgiven) that are then taken away.
Read MoreLife after a divorce can be challenging, but it's important to focus on self-care, build a strong support system, set realistic goals, establish a new routine, let go of resentment, and take things slowly. By taking these steps, you can begin to rebuild your life and find happiness once again.
Working with a skilled therapist can be key in helping to heal the heartbreak that can accompany divorce. There are support groups also, to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.
Read MoreThese non-apologies essentially blame the other person for feeling upset or hurt. There isn’t acknowledgment on the part of the person who did the hurting so they aren’t real apologies. That’s the key, acknowledgment of one’s own actions. The non-apologies are defensive statements that endeavor to get the person who is doing the apologizing “off the hook.” The statements don’t take responsibility for the person’s actions so they aren’t real apologies.
Read MoreYou can communicate with your inner child(ren) as much as you’d like, and as with anything, as long as it doesn’t interfere with other areas of your life. Your active imagination can take you far. Where do you want to go?
Read MoreFor someone in that situation, it may feel confusing or even like gaslighting. Generally, people want healthy, functional, emotionally regulated parents. There’s grief when that’s not present and why focusing on reparenting yourself can be so healing. To see the sort of parenting you wish you could have received given to your kids, but not to you, can bring up numerous feelings.
Read MoreDon’t let art and social media bully you into feeling something that’s not authentic. Remember, this is a time of year for hibernating and going inward. It’s not only the winter solstice itself that brings up the sentiment, it’s also the days leading up to the solstice and the ones after it. We are in the midst of that time. Yes, it’s the holidays, but it’s also winter.
Read MoreFawning looks like codependence. It’s putting someone else’s needs above your own. It’s struggling to say “no” and saying “yes” when you don’t want to. Your orientation is toward other people instead of yourself, “What will make them happy?” not “What will make me happy?” It’s making yourself responsible for other people’s actions and reactions: “I must have done something wrong. If only I’d done XYZ, they wouldn’t be angry/withdrawn/upset, etc.”
Read MoreWhen you practice acceptance, you’re no longer focusing outward. You’re no longer trying to change, fix, or control other people and situations so you can feel happy, fulfilled, peaceful, or whatever it is you think will happen if only they did XYZ or if ABC looked different. Instead, you’re keeping the focus on yourself and asking what you can do right now, given these circumstances and these people, to feel the way you want to feel.
Read MoreTo stay sane during the holidays, I encourage my patients, clients, and students to continue the practices they have at other times of the year: breathwork, somatic work, yoga nidra, freewriting, getting outside, etc. It may feel tempting to let these practices fall by the wayside, but in times of stress, you need them more. Make sure you prioritize you because you are the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
Read MoreWitches, of today and yesteryear, accept all parts of themselves, which promotes psychological healing for us all. There is a depth of healing that can occur when individual work is done that enacts not only on their own psyche but also heals collective trauma. When intergenerational and collective trauma are more richly understood and focused upon, deeper layers of healing can occur.
Read MoreIn other words, being a teenager may not have been the idyllic time you remember it being. If you find yourself wishing you could go back to high school, that could be a symptom of something else. Maybe you’re longing for certain qualities you’re not experiencing as an adult. Maybe you want more play and creativity. Or perhaps you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by “adulting” and could use a playdate with your inner children. It could also be that you’re lonely and want more time with your friends.
Read MoreSome people may go along with something sexual in order to people please, to make sure the other person doesn’t get angry with them, feel disappointed, become upset or whatever it is they’re afraid will happen. The person is “fawning” and not engaging in the sexual activity because it’s pleasing or pleasurable to them, rather, they’re doing it for the other person.
Read MoreWhat people often forget is it’s hard being a child; there are numerous milestones kids go through before they’re 5 years old. They learn gross motor skills like rolling over and crawling, which is a very big deal. They are going from being immobile, dependent on those around them to do everything, to learning and becoming more independent somatically.
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