In a sense, depth work is the slow art of clearing the mind and heart, of excavating the unconscious to create fertile ground for connection. When this work is done, the moments of beauty, like hearing someone recognize the love in their life, shine all the brighter.

The holiday season does not have to be a source of stress. It can also be an opportunity to practice what we teach: presence, self-awareness, and compassion. By caring for ourselves, we not only protect our own wellbeing but also show up more fully and authentically for the people who depend on us. Taking intentional moments to pause and reflect throughout the season helps maintain balance and perspective.

Clitmas is a reminder that pleasure is not just a holiday indulgence. It is a practice. Give yourself the gift that keeps on giving: your own attention, your own joy, and your own Clitmas.

Awareness and communication are essential tools. Partners benefit from openly sharing what feels uncomfortable or challenging, seeking guidance from sex therapists, medical providers, or somatic practitioners, and examining the cultural messages that shape their sexual experiences. Consent is ongoing, and sexual connection is healthiest when pleasure, safety, and mutual desire are present.

Above all, remember that it’s okay to take things slowly. There is no timeline for grief, and no expectation for how you “should” feel during the holidays. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a loved one who is mourning.

Keep in mind that just as holidays can be challenging, you can also exit the holiday season with an increased sense of emotional resilience and stronger boundaries. You can feel proud of yourself for making it through and even having a fun time with what you do choose to do with your time. The way to create that is by maintaining your self-care practice, paying attention to yourself, and acting in ways that are in integrity with your personal values and long-term goals.

Disorganized attachment develops as a protective response to early experiences where love and danger were closely connected. If you recognize yourself in these dynamics, you are not alone. Healing often involves slow and steady intimacy rather than sudden closeness and “needing to profess your love or you’ll burst” moments, nervous system regulation through somatic practices and embodiment work, therapeutic relationships that offer consistency and repair, learning to tolerate being seen without collapsing into shame, and building internal capacity one small step at a time.

When you turn toward your body, when you feed it with awareness and attunement, you begin to remother the self. You become the mother your inner child needed. And in doing so, you begin to heal the mother-wound, not by seeking external perfection or demanding a flawless mother figure, but by reclaiming the mother-principle within: care, presence, nourishment, tenderness. As Marion Woodman invites: care for your body; treat it as the vessel through which your Self may be born.

Not everyone’s family looks like the picture-perfect scenes we see in movies. Many people come from families where relationships are fractured, toxic, or absent. Others do not fit the traditional mold because of sexuality, gender identity, lifestyle choices, or just the fact that the family you were born into does not align with who you are today.

Emotional regulation means reaching for healthy coping strategies to manage emotions rather than unhealthy ones, such as other people in an addictive way, food, drugs, sex, shopping, etc. Emotional regulation helps you respond thoughtfully to situations rather than reacting unconsciously.

Attachment might make us cling, chase, or fear loss, but love requires conscious engagement. It’s a daily decision to show up, to care, and to be patient with both ourselves and our partner. The honeymoon phase is just the beginning as the real relationship starts when we choose to stay after the infatuation fades and navigate life’s complexities together.

Ultimately, couples can only truly know each other when they move past the initial intensity, confront emotional patterns, and build connection that is grounded in awareness, empathy, and resilience.

Joy is not about having a perfect life. It’s about meeting life as it is, with openness, gratitude, and a willingness to feel alive. Even a deep breath, a small act of kindness, or a shared laugh can remind you that joy is always within reach.

Trans Awareness Week reminds us that affirmation and respect are not one-time gestures. They are a daily practice woven through how we speak, connect, and show up for one another. And now, with personal agency and freedom under direct attack, it’s more important than ever to honor gender diversity.

Somatic consent is the practice of learning to feel what you truly want rather than deciding only from the neck up. It restores sensation, internal clarity, agency, and a sense of safety in the body.

Three common trauma-based coping responses that can shape relationships are collapse, fawn, and flight. While they each arise from a desire to stay safe and connected, they can unintentionally undermine the secure, reciprocal partnership we long for.

In contrast, when communities mobilize to care for one another, we heal not only individual bodies but the collective body. Mutual aid, community food programs, and compassionate policy are forms of nervous system repair. They signal: We are responsible for one another. You matter. You deserve nourishment.

How do we honor the dead with integrity, without borrowing from a tradition that is not ours?

This is not a question for shame. It is an invitation into presence, respect, and responsibility. Death work, like healing work, asks for humility and awareness.

Most people seek and enjoy relationships that are convenient, comfortable, or familiar. These relationships can bring companionship, safety, and pleasure, and they serve many purposes in life. And many are content in them.

Deep intimacy is different though. It is not convenient. It is not easy. It requires conscious choice, courage, and ongoing effort.

It asks for vulnerability, patience, and presence in ways that most casual or convenience-based relationships do not.

Related, identify emotionally mature role models. These are people who handle conflict calmly, communicate their needs clearly, take responsibility for mistakes, and show empathy for others. And if you’re able, test new ways of relating in safe relationships. Safe relationships are those where you feel seen, respected, and supported, and where you can practice being vulnerable without fear of judgment or retaliation. A common space for this to occur is in therapy.

Feeling like you belong in a relationship provides a foundation of safety and trust. It reassures us that our presence matters and that we are not just tolerated but truly appreciated for who we are. When we feel wanted, we are more likely to show up authentically, share our vulnerabilities, and invest emotionally in the relationship.