Posts in sexuality
Defying Ageism: Being Beautiful at Any Age

Under patriarchy, traditional men are given power and it’s taken away from women, nonbinary folx, and “girly” men. Also under patriarchy, the status quo is upheld such that traditional ways of thinking, acting, and being are prized while new ways are not. What this translates to is men who display what are perceived as “feminine” traits like sensitivity, vulnerability, and care are less valued under patriarchy and discriminated against.

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Meaningful Relationships in Hook Up Culture

Finding a meaningful relationship in hookup culture can be challenging, but it's not impossible. By being clear about what you want, avoiding casual hookups, taking things slow, looking for like-minded individuals, being patient, open, and honest, and putting yourself out there, you can increase your chances of finding a meaningful relationship.

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Want more Sexual Pleasure?

Emotional safety plays a crucial role in sexual pleasure. When we feel emotionally safe with our partner, we are more likely to be open, vulnerable, and willing to explore our desires and fantasies. When we trust our partner, we can let go of any inhibitions and fully immerse ourselves in the moment, leading to a more intense and fulfilling sexual experience.

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Sexual Anxiety? Try Meditation

Sexual anxiety is a common issue that affects many people, and it can be caused by a variety of factors, including performance anxiety, past trauma, or negative self-talk. Anxiety can significantly impact one's sexual experience, leading to difficulties achieving or maintaining an erection, premature ejaculation, or difficulty reaching orgasm. However, meditation is a powerful tool that can help decrease anxiety during sex and improve overall sexual well-being.

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The Clitoris: Much More Than the Tip of the Iceberg

This lack of focus and knowledge can create a lot of issues for those with clitorises.  Psychologically, there is a message put forth that there’s less importance on these bodies, that women overall are less important, and that can affect self-esteem, confidence, and a general sense of embodiment. This is changing but/and the change is so very slow. It’s important to talk about the issues for people with clitorises, understand it, and have deeper knowledge of the vulva, vagina, and clitoris. Normalizing pleasure is key to a sense of embodiment.

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Female Orgasms and Unrealistic Expectations

For folx who have sex with people with clitorises, it’s important that they realize vaginal penetration alone may not cut it, and as with all satisfying sex, communication is key. At Whole Person Integration, we say bring consciousness back to the bedroom. Communicate wants and desires. But also explore…and explore widely, vastly, and wildly…if you so desire. You may have “tried and true” methods of coming but part of the fun with sex is learning new forms of pleasure. What else can you try? The answer may surprise you.

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The Orgasm Gap

The orgasm gap is what it sounds like – when engaging in sexual activities that result in an orgasm, one individual or group consistently achieves an orgasm more than another. One study found the breakdown is like so:

 

·      95% of heterosexual men experience orgasm during intercourse

·      89% of gay men

·      88% of bisexual men

·      86% of lesbians

·      66% of bisexual women

·      65% of straight women

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How to Work with Limerence and Not Against It

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov first described the term in 1979 in her book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Limerence is less grounded than love because it involves a heck of a lot of projection and fantasy. Instead of seeing the other person for who they are, flaws and all, someone in the throes of limerence will ignore red flags because “love conquers all.” They may imagine activities and outings with the other person, how they’ll dress, what they’ll say because at this point, the other person is still a mystery.  

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Space is Sexy in Relationship

Sleeping separately helps everyone get a better night’s sleep because they don’t have to contend with snoring, blanket-hogging, or different sleep schedules.

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Sex Remains Important in Long-Term Relationships

Sex…it’s something that is typically part of a romantic partnership or marriage and it’s wise to have a conversation about it from the beginning of a connection. People may be asexual, pansexual, have a high interest in sex, have kinky desires, prefer a vanilla scene, or anything in between. But there is a prevalent and under-talked about sexual concern in some relationships.

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Cross-Dressing: It’s Just Dressing

Not that long ago, cross-dressing was the brunt of many jokes. It was considered the height of hilarity to put a man in a dress and heels or a woman in a too-large man’s suit. Some younger people who may be reading this might have a hard time fathoming such a reality, depending on your social circle and location.

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Asexuality is Aces

In the hypersexualized culture of the U.S., asexuality is not discussed much but it still exists. Around 1% of the population, perhaps more, are asexual (or “aces”) according to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. Asexuality is not celibacy. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sexual activity whereas asexuality is a sexual orientation intrinsic to the person, similar to other sexual orientations. Asexuality is also not abstinence, a phase, an inability to find a partner, or evidence of sexual dysfunction. It’s an inherent way of being.

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How do Sexual Freedom and the Inner Child Relate to Each Other?

By looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.

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How Inner Child Exploration Leads to More Creativity

Your creative, and thus sexual, energy is life-sustaining. It’s an expression that is unleashed and followed. Your creative expression is an energy that can be surrendered to and followed. It is the flow of life. The flow of life can be blocked for numerous reasons – primarily trauma, but also social conditioning. Inner child play can unblock that flow and transform your whole person.

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