While over-familiarity can indeed decrease sexual attraction, it is not an inevitable outcome of a long-term relationship. Couples can take steps to maintain and even reignite their sexual attraction.
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This lack of focus and knowledge can create a lot of issues for those with clitorises. Psychologically, there is a message put forth that there’s less importance on these bodies, that women overall are less important, and that can affect self-esteem, confidence, and a general sense of embodiment. This is changing but/and the change is so very slow. It’s important to talk about the issues for people with clitorises, understand it, and have deeper knowledge of the vulva, vagina, and clitoris. Normalizing pleasure is key to a sense of embodiment.
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For folx who have sex with people with clitorises, it’s important that they realize vaginal penetration alone may not cut it, and as with all satisfying sex, communication is key. At Whole Person Integration, we say bring consciousness back to the bedroom. Communicate wants and desires. But also explore…and explore widely, vastly, and wildly…if you so desire. You may have “tried and true” methods of coming but part of the fun with sex is learning new forms of pleasure. What else can you try? The answer may surprise you.
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When people use terms other than sex worker, they diminish that sex work is actually work. Either that or they try to keep sex work in the shadows, pretend it doesn’t exist, or somehow turn it into something it’s not. Leigh understood that and she became one of the leading advocates for sex workers in the Bay Area campaigning both as herself and her stage persona the Scarlot Harlot. For instance, she helped dancers at a San Francisco club, Lusty Lady, bargain for their first labor contract in 1997.
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By looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.
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Non-gay people do not have a right to use the word f*ggot, just as they are not allowed to greet each other with the word “homo.” The diminutive version of the word homosexual is not used as a descriptor, it’s used as an insult or a joke. In other words, it causes harm to anyone who identifies as a homosexual or falls closer to that side of the sexuality continuum.
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Sex therapy isn’t just about sex – it’s about expression and pleasure and communication. Yes, I’ve worked with people experiencing vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, hypo- and hyperarousal (to name a few), but ultimately what I care about is connecting the body and mind.
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As an aside, everything from casual hook-up sex to committed monogamous has room for communication as a way to increase safety, pleasure, and fun. Pleasure and anxiety cannot coexist so remember when you are playing, if anxiety is up, voice it to your partner(s)
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