The Healing Power of Slowing Down
By: Dr. Denise Renye
I don’t have to tell you that the world is moving fast, but in the U.S., it often feels like everything is set to double speed. The message we receive, both overtly and subtly, is “faster, faster, faster.” It’s not just about conveniences like same-day delivery—it’s the emotional and political pace, too. The news cycle changes by the hour, and we’re expected to process massive cultural and political shifts almost instantly. People ask, “You’re not over that yet?” Or we turn on ourselves with inner criticism for not healing fast enough, achieving fast enough, or moving on fast enough.
As a trauma-informed therapist based in Marin County, I often remind the folx I work with: It’s OK to go slow. In fact, going slow is often exactly what’s needed for real healing to take root. When you move slowly, intentionally, you send a powerful message to the parts of yourself who learned to hurry, to perform, to anticipate others’ needs before your own. Oftentimes, these are the younger parts, the inner children. You are every age you’ve ever been so that means there still exists within you an 18-year-old, an 8-year-old, an 8-month-old. Those parts still need tending even, and especially, now.
Slowing down, then, is not just a lifestyle shift; it’s a reparative act. It tells the parts of you that were rushed through heartbreak, brushed past in grief, or silenced in fear that they matter now. That their feelings, their pace, their needs are valid. In a world that rewards urgency and productivity, choosing to move with care becomes an act of self-honoring. You stop pushing past yourself and instead start listening in.
It can be incredibly difficult to sit with yourself, to not become distracted by a to-do list, a TV show, or someone else’s drama. Sometimes distraction is healthy, but sometimes it’s a way of avoiding yourself, avoiding your feelings. When we get swept away by external trappings, we can lose ourselves in the process. We may repeat the things our caregivers did to use when we were young: dismiss, minimize, or hurry our process because it feels too uncomfortable to hold.
Slowing down and listening to the self, listening to the body, is how healing begins, not in grand breakthroughs, but in small, consistent gestures of attention. It’s noticing when you feel like crying and letting yourself do that. It’s becoming aware of when you’re tired and taking a nap or a walk rather than eating a sugary treat. Small, consistent gestures of attention show your younger self they’re worth your time. That you will not abandon them.
Whether it’s taking a breath before reacting, pausing to notice what you feel, or giving yourself an extra ten minutes to truly land in your body each morning, these moments accumulate. They rewrite the story that lives within you—not one of survival at any cost, but of presence, safety, and self-belonging.
When you create presence and safety within yourself, you build resilience to life challenges. You aren’t broken by the hard things. They affect you but they don’t incapacitate you for very long. Slowing down, paying attention to yourself creates an anchor, an internal home you can return to again and again. Many of us aren’t trained how to do this. No one modeled it for us. But it’s not too late. You can still tell the tender ones inside, “I see you. You matter. I’m here.” And it all starts with slowing down.
Journal Prompts
· Take a few deep breaths. Slow down right here, right now. Then ask yourself, “What do I need?”
· What signals does my body give me when I’m moving too fast—emotionally, physically, or energetically?
· When was the last time I felt truly present? What helped me arrive in that moment?
· Which younger part of me might be asking for attention right now? (A certain age, feeling, or memory?)
If this process feels too challenging to navigate alone, there’s support for you. Reach out to me to schedule an appointment. And if you are interested in tending to your inner child at your own pace, here is a link to my Inner Child Course, which has an early-bird price until June 1, 2025.