Sex Therapy as Soul Work

by Dr. Denise Renye

So much of our sexuality is entangled with shame, silence, or scripts we never chose. For many of us, our erotic lives have been shaped more by what we were taught to suppress than by what we were encouraged to explore. Sex therapy, when grounded in depth psychology and somatic wisdom, becomes far more than a space to discuss performance or dysfunction. It becomes a sacred space of reclamation.

In my work, I do not treat sexuality as something separate from the rest of the psyche. It is not an isolated issue to be compartmentalized or pathologized. Instead, sexuality is a vital thread woven through our identity, our relationships, our creativity, our bodies, and our very sense of agency in the world. To work with it consciously and with care is a form of soul work.

Unraveling Shame and Silence

Most people come into sex therapy carrying internalized messages—some conscious, many unconscious—about what they should or shouldn't want, how they should or shouldn't behave, or whether they even deserve pleasure. These messages come from family, religion, culture, early trauma, and systemic forces like racism, patriarchy, and homophobia. Often, they live deep in the body, not just in the mind.

In therapy, we begin to untangle these inherited scripts. We ask: Whose voice is this? Is this belief aligned with your values now, or is it something you absorbed before you even knew you had a choice?

Shame thrives in silence, but it cannot survive being seen. As we bring light to the places where shame has taken hold, clients begin to experience relief, release, and often, a deep grief for all the years they’ve been disconnected from their own erotic aliveness.

The Erotic Body as a Site of Healing

The body remembers what the mind forgets. This is especially true when it comes to trauma and sexuality. Many clients arrive in sex therapy experiencing disconnection, numbness, or confusion around their sexual selves. They may be in relationships where sex feels painful or absent, or they may avoid intimacy altogether out of fear, unresolved trauma, or internal conflict.

Working with the erotic body involves learning to listen again—or perhaps for the first time. It means honoring what the body says yes to, and what it says no to, without judgment. It means becoming curious about what turns you on, not to perform or please, but to feel the truth of your own desire.

This is not about fixing dysfunction. It is about reawakening authenticity.

Through somatic awareness, breathwork, embodiment practices, and depth-oriented dialogue, clients can begin to inhabit their bodies more fully. The dissociation that once served as protection can gently soften. Pleasure becomes possible again—not as a reward for healing, but as a part of the healing itself.

Sex Therapy Beyond the Individual

Our erotic lives do not exist in a vacuum. They are shaped by culture, lineage, gender roles, and spiritual meaning. I often think of sexuality not just as a personal expression, but as a kind of psychic inheritance. Some clients carry ancestral imprints of trauma, oppression, or silence around sexuality. Others are actively navigating how their queerness, kink, gender identity, or sexual orientation intersects with family systems or spiritual traditions.

Sex therapy, in this way, becomes not just psychological or physical—it becomes archetypal. We may explore dreams, fantasies, rituals, or even what it means to be in conscious relationship with your own erotic energy as a source of insight and vitality.

This is what I mean when I say that sex therapy is soul work.

A Return to Wholeness

When we work with sexuality as an expression of soul, the goal is not to become “normal” or even “better” in the conventional sense. The goal is to become more yourself. More whole. More embodied. More present to the truth of your own experience.

I believe that erotic healing is essential to deep psychological work. It is not an afterthought. It is not separate. Our sexual selves carry not just pain and shame, but also joy, connection, imagination, and resilience. When we approach them with reverence, we begin to reclaim a part of ourselves that was never meant to be lost.

If you are curious about exploring your sexuality in therapy—whether you are navigating trauma, rediscovering pleasure, questioning old narratives, or simply longing to feel more alive—I welcome you into this work.

If you're feeling called to explore this work more deeply, you're not alone—and you don’t have to navigate it by yourself.

Visit www.wholepersonintegration.com/contact to learn more about my approach, explore current offerings, or take the first step toward reconnecting with your full, embodied self. Your healing, your pleasure, and your wholeness matter.