When people use terms other than sex worker, they diminish that sex work is actually work. Either that or they try to keep sex work in the shadows, pretend it doesn’t exist, or somehow turn it into something it’s not. Leigh understood that and she became one of the leading advocates for sex workers in the Bay Area campaigning both as herself and her stage persona the Scarlot Harlot. For instance, she helped dancers at a San Francisco club, Lusty Lady, bargain for their first labor contract in 1997.

What people often forget is it’s hard being a child; there are numerous milestones kids go through before they’re 5 years old. They learn gross motor skills like rolling over and crawling, which is a very big deal. They are going from being immobile, dependent on those around them to do everything, to learning and becoming more independent somatically.

In the hypersexualized culture of the U.S., asexuality is not discussed much but it still exists. Around 1% of the population, perhaps more, are asexual (or “aces”) according to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. Asexuality is not celibacy. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sexual activity whereas asexuality is a sexual orientation intrinsic to the person, similar to other sexual orientations. Asexuality is also not abstinence, a phase, an inability to find a partner, or evidence of sexual dysfunction. It’s an inherent way of being.

By looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.

Your creative, and thus sexual, energy is life-sustaining. It’s an expression that is unleashed and followed. Your creative expression is an energy that can be surrendered to and followed. It is the flow of life. The flow of life can be blocked for numerous reasons – primarily trauma, but also social conditioning. Inner child play can unblock that flow and transform your whole person.

Ways to access the shadow are by exploring where you are in the greatest pain, where or when you feel deep shame, and if you have low self-worth in a particular area or in general. The more you bring this part of the psyche out of your unconscious awareness and into the light of consciousness, the less you'll judge others (and yourself).

The shadow is what you don’t want to see the “light of day.” It’s the traits you’d rather keep hidden away. It’s things or traits you perhaps feel ashamed about or embarrassed by.

Perhaps you’ve come across something commonly known as an inner critic or your shadow, or maybe you’ve stumbled upon your inner child or inner teenager. Believing you have an inner world is the first step in the journey of delving deep within this vast landscape. Being gentle with this process is not only important, but …

People in the process of healing their inner children may undergo this acceptance process as well. They may no longer fight life but accept it as it is. They may also start to trust the process and themselves, knowing it will lead to somewhere new, more integrated, and more whole.

And the way to access that true self is through play. Children love to play. And adults do too. However, social conditioning takes us away from play.

There’s also the added benefit that your romantic relationship could improve as well. Nurturing the relationship with yourself may nurture the other relationships in your life because you may be more authentic, which allows for greater connection to the real you. Nurturing the relationship with yourself may also keep you from falling into relationship challenges such as codependence, resentment, and passive aggression because you’re communicating your boundaries.

As you’re familiarizing yourself with your inner child, it’s important to engage in a conversation and determine what pronoun they prefer. Doing so ensures your inner kid feels seen and heard. From there, a relationship can build. Why does this matter? Why would you want to befriend your inner child? Because each time something substantial or traumatic happens, there is a marker within wherein that very inner child was wounded and she, he, or they may have numbed a bit more and more each time just to stay alive in the family they grew up in or this world at large. Have you had a look recently? It’s a pretty wild one.

And if being in a relationship is what you are choosing, enjoying it and healing through it are

beautiful ways to break intergenerational trauma wounds, increase intimacy, and come to know

yourself deeper. It may not look like a Hollywood movie, but that’s OK because your

relationship is something better: It’s real.

Frankly, sexy is very much in the eye of the beholder and not preordained, but I digress. For people who hold this belief that they aren’t sexy, there’s often fear and terror around their own sexuality – both exploring it and deepening it. However, that’s exactly what’s required to shift the paradigm of the patriarchy.

The divine feminine is not only about bodily sovereignty, it’s about sovereignty period. Did you know the practice of a woman taking her husband’s last name is a vestige of a law that dates back to the 11th century? Sometime after the Norman Conquest, the Normans introduced the idea of “coverture” to the English, which asserted that after she married, a woman’s identity was “covered” by her husband. From the moment of her marriage, a woman was known as a “feme covert” or covered woman. She became “one” with her husband. Her identity was erased and she could not own property or enter into contracts on their own. Husbands had complete control over their wives, legally and financially.

The breath is a powerful process and can be understood even as a mind-body tool. It can both indicate an emotional/mental state as well as encourage one. For instance, when a person is calm and relaxed, often their breathing slows. It gets deeper, in the belly, and even out almost through the ribs and down the back. When a person is stressed and tensed, often their breathing quickens. It gets shallower and in the chest. However, you can also facilitate each of those emotional states by changing your breathing. Meaning if you start breathing more slowly, taking belly breaths, you may start to feel more relaxed and at ease.

If you want to feel more spacious in your life, if you’re craving a slower pace, slowing down your breath is a great place to start. Try it right now. Inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, and hold for a count of four. This is called a box breath. Repeat this sort of breathing as much as you like. There’s a journal prompt below to help you engage in this breathing experience.

As an addiction metaphor, the hungry ghost demonstrates what it feels like internally for a person with an addiction or addictive tendencies. Unlike true hunger, which can be satiated by food, addiction is more of a spiritual hunger that a person tries to quench with something external. They may try a substance, a relationship, or a behavior (sex, shopping, etc.) to fulfill the aching emptiness inside.

They don’t belong because the child knows on some level there’s a healthier way of existing, that there’s another way to show up in the world and live, even if they’re not quite sure what that looks like. For a child who perpetually feels like an outsider in their own home, or an adult who feels untethered to anyone, this can lead to numerous symptoms, including addiction and addictive tendencies.

When I work doing psychedelic integration, I invite people to dive deep into a shorter-term intense exploration that can be done in conjunction with any other longer therapy or coaching that person already has in place. I have different options to do this type of work.