Mostly what I care about is folx keeping in mind two things: sex isn’t supposed to hurt, and if it does, there may be a physical reason as to why. There’s no shame in asking for help and doing so could make all the difference. It’s important in my line of work to have colleagues to refer to who are sex-positive.

People in each category tend to feel extremely lonely and ostracized because it’s hard for others to grasp what life is like for them.

As long as you attempt to continue living the old way, your limiting beliefs are not only boxing others in but they are violent because they actively harm transfolx by denying they exist, making them feel unwelcome, or refusing to provide them with adequate medical care. The world is already hard enough, why not make it easier if you can?

How can you connect with yourself and others if you’re not open to seeing their point of view and instead are adamant that your way of looking at things is the only way? This is why individual therapy and coaching are so important – someone else is able to point out behaviors operating out of your awareness and support you in changing them if you wish and are ready.

I also want to acknowledge that because the prostate is accessible via the anus, and prostate milking can be practiced as a form of sexual pleasure, some folx may feel resistant to using this technique. Because many people continue to subscribe and use heteronormative languaging, they may feel scared and even consider this as “doing something gay.” And at the same time, a body part doesn’t have a sexual orientation. Body parts are neutral. They are attached to people and people are the ones that have sexual orientations.

ATTUNEMENT: WHAT IS IT? WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?

There’s a very important factor that determines whether one or both parties in a relationship feel seen and nurtured. It applies to relationships across the board, from romantic to platonic, therapeutic to familial. And without it, miscommunication, fights, and hurt feelings are common. That factor is attunement. I’ll give the clinical definition first because it’s a word we often use in the field of psychotherapy and so you have a full picture of what attunement is and then I’ll describe attunement in layperson’s terms.

Rigorous, long-term psychological research demonstrates clearly that people who are denied abortions are more likely to experience higher levels of anxiety, lower life satisfaction and lower self-esteem compared with those who are able to obtain abortions. In addition, there is no research to indicate that abortion is a cause for subsequent mental health diagnoses.

Because it’s taboo to talk about money in public or with your friends, you might not even question the messages you received about money. . Just like romantic relationships, friendships, and familial bonds, your relationship with money deserves attention and nourishment. Are you giving that to yourself? If not, it’s never too late to start.

The collective still very deeply holds the trauma that has been caused by the violence directed toward non-straight people. This may be directly held by older generations in the lgbtqia+ but it may be held in the psyche of the younger generations. Creating space for these feelings to be expressed, explored, and held without judgment is important for healing this wound. Discrimination scars and some folx may not feel they have the space and time to heal in the ways needed. Let us hold that as we move forward in this Pride month. There is space for everyone to celebrate and heal in community.

As evidenced by its appearance across spiritual disciplines, a kundalini awakening can happen to anybody at any time on any spiritual path. You don’t have to practice Kundalini Yoga, for instance, or recite a particular mantra to have your kundalini rise.

That’s a problem for numerous reasons but what’s interesting to me is that straightwashing is not relegated to Hollywood. When someone gets into a man-woman relationship, people default to calling it a heterosexual one or believing both parties are heterosexual. It may look that way on the outside, but is it? What if one or both people are bisexual, pansexual, or identify in a way other than hetero? What if one or both people are trans?

Non-gay people do not have a right to use the word f*ggot, just as they are not allowed to greet each other with the word “homo.” The diminutive version of the word homosexual is not used as a descriptor, it’s used as an insult or a joke. In other words, it causes harm to anyone who identifies as a homosexual or falls closer to that side of the sexuality continuum.

Patriarchy focuses mainly on power and has implications for sex, money, and numerous other factors. What patriarchy comes down to is this: giving men power and taking power away from women, nonbinary folx, and “girly” men. In other words, men who display what are perceived as “feminine” traits like sensitivity, vulnerability, and care are less valued under patriarchy and discriminated against.

To answer that question, I think it’s important to understand what happens in therapy. First, the therapeutic relationship is unique and special. The therapeutic relationship itself is where and how healing happens. For some, a therapist is the first or perhaps only secure attachment figure in their life. A secure attachment figure is someone who provides a safe physical and emotional environment for interaction. They are people clients can count on, someone they can express their innermost thoughts to, a person that holds space for feelings and processing feelings without shame, blame, or judgment.

Oftentimes going deep into the soul and the psyche requires you to let go of and lose your footing in the world as you knew it. There’s a surrendering here, an acceptance of what is rather than what you want to be. Carl Jung speaks to this when he writes, “Every transformation demands as its precondition ‘the ending of the world’ – the collapse of an old philosophy of life.”

Even the folx supporting reproductive choice sound like they’re doing so for extreme cases: “I’m supporting so and so because she has to choose between putting food on the table or having another child,” or “I’m supporting so and so because she was raped by her brother and pregnant with his child.” The supporters are trying to take the stigma out of abortion, which is great, but also, some people just want to have penis-in-vagina sex and they didn’t use protection for whatever reason. Shouldn’t those people have a choice too? Why not accept reality and account for it?

yoga nidra can help with issues like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), addiction, insomnia, anxiety, and more. That’s not conjecture, by the way. A study from 2011 found yoga nidra helped war veterans reduce rage, anxiety, and emotional reactivity while increasing feelings of relaxation, peace, self-awareness, and self-efficacy. In 2014, a study by Pamela Pence found sexual trauma survivors reported significant decreases in PTSD symptoms, negative thoughts of self-blame, and depression. They also reported an increased feeling of joy.

By doing so, these folx with penises learn more about themselves. They are able to decipher their body's cues and act upon them. They understand their bodies are not machines that obey every command. Instead, the body is a living, breathing organism with its own rhythms and wants. Reconnecting the mind and body creates attunement and harmony, which is more satisfying for everyone involved.

And yes, the symptoms may be uncomfortable and something they want to alleviate, but I invite the folx I work with to think of those symptoms as indicating there's something right with them. I know that may sound odd, bold even, but the body and the psyche are intelligent.

Whatever you're judging yourself about, it's worth it to ask if maybe the judge is mistaken and practice accepting yourself as you, right now. You don't have to do it alone, if you look around you might find there are already people in your life who love and accept you without changing a thing. Seek them out and let them shine that love upon you while you learn to do it for yourself.