It’s Not “Too Sensitive.” It’s Neurobiological Hypervigilance

By: Dr. Denise Renye

Are you someone who picks up on the slightest cues – like a pause, a sigh, or a change in tone? If so, it could be you are a sensitive person, one who “reads the room.” Far from being an “overreaction” or demonstrating you’re “too sensitive,” noticing these subtle shifts is an adaptation. As a trauma-informed depth psychologist, I’ve noticed this adaptation often appears in my clients who experienced relational trauma.

Relational trauma, also known as interpersonal trauma, occurs when a person’s nervous system gets overwhelmed and it affects their ability to cope. This happens in the context of significant relationships and often involves abuse, neglect, or betrayal by someone in a position of authority or influence. And instead of a one-time thing, relational trauma is usually repeated exposure to harmful behaviors over the course of time.

This repeated exposure literally changes the brain. Neuroimaging studies confirm that survivors of relational trauma often show increased connectivity between the amygdala and the insula (or insular cortex) – two areas of the brain deeply involved in emotion processing and threat detection.

A study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found anxiety-prone subjects had “significantly greater bilateral amygdala and insula activation to emotional faces than did the anxiety-normative comparison subjects. Higher scores on several measures assessing anxiety proneness (e.g., neuroticism, trait anxiety, and anxiety sensitivity) were associated with greater activation of the amygdala (predominantly left-sided) and the anterior insula (bilateral).” 

In another study specifically addressing PTSD, researchers found, “The amygdala and insula displayed widespread patterns of primarily subregion-uniform intrinsic connectivity change, including increased connectivity between the amygdala and insula; increased connectivity of both regions with the ventral prefrontal cortex and frontopolar and sensory cortices; and decreased connectivity of both regions with the left frontoparietal nodes of the executive control network.”

The amygdala is the brain’s built-in alarm system. It scans for threats often before you’re even consciously aware of it. The insula, on the other hand, plays a key role in interoception, which is the awareness of what’s happening inside your body. When these two regions are in heightened communication, your brain becomes finely attuned to emotional cues, especially those associated with interpersonal connection or disconnection, as we saw in the first study.

That means your brain picks up on something like a change in tone and interprets it as a threat, not because you’re too sensitive or overreacting, but because your brain is doing what it learned to do in order to survive. For those who’ve lived through chronic misattunement, emotional neglect, or abuse, especially in childhood, this heightened sensitivity was necessary just to get through the day, week, or year.

The early childhood environment required them to stay on high alert to keep themselves emotionally (or even physically) safe, and so their bodies and brains adapted brilliantly. They learned to “read the room” before the “room read them,” meaning it was adaptive to know that a sigh from mom meant you were about to be punished, or something similar.

As an adult, though, that same adaptation can make everyday interactions feel overwhelming. A text left on “read,” a partner’s offhand comment, or a shift in tone during a conversation can feel like a warning sign even when it isn’t. It’s called neurobiological hypervigilance and it’s real. If you identify with that description, you’re not destined to live in that heightened state forever. The brain is plastic – it changes and can learn something new.

As a trauma-informed depth psychologist, I’ve witnessed that with trauma-informed therapy, somatic (meaning, body) practices, and compassionate relational repair, it's possible to rewire those patterns. But the first step is understanding you’re not broken, and your responses make sense given your history. Your nervous system is doing what it was trained to do. Healing doesn’t mean turning that sensitivity off – it means learning how to feel safe with it on. If you’re looking for suggestions, I have some.

Embodied Practice: The Pause and Soothe Method

When you notice yourself becoming activated – maybe your chest tightens, your stomach drops, or you start reading between the lines of someone’s text or tone – try this:

1. Pause and Name It
Gently say to yourself: “This is hypervigilance. My nervous system is reacting to protect me.”
Naming it helps create just enough space between you and the reaction so you can respond with care rather than fear.

2. Ground into the Present
Use your senses to come back into the moment.

• Feel your feet on the floor.

• Press your hands gently together.

• Look around and name three things you see.

This helps orient your body to now, not then.

3. Soothe with Breath and Touch
Place a hand over your heart or on the side of your face and take a slow breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Repeat a few times, focusing on the sensation of your breath and the warmth of your hand.

4. Offer Reassurance
Whisper to yourself (silently or out loud): “I’m okay right now. Nothing bad is happening. I can stay with myself.” This builds self-trust and strengthens your capacity to stay present, even when it feels hard.

All of these practices will help in the moment but one of the most powerful things you can do is train your brain and body to feel safe in relationship. One of the best places to do that is in therapy. That’s because the therapeutic relationship is unique. For some, a therapist is the first or perhaps only secure attachment figure in their life. A secure attachment figure is someone who provides a safe physical and emotional environment for interaction. They are people clients can count on, someone they can express their innermost thoughts to, a person who holds space for feelings and processing feelings without shame, blame, or judgment.

The healing happens in the space between the hearts, minds, and spirits of the client and the therapist. The relationship is the healing container and rewires a person’s brain to repair lost trust, restore security, and provide support around regulating emotions.

If this is something you’d like to experience with me, schedule an appointment. I’m here.

References

Fonzo, G. A., Goodkind, M. S., Oathes, D. J., Zaiko, Y. V., Harvey, M., Peng, K. K., Weiss, M. E., Thompson, A. L., Zack, S. E., Lindley, S. E., Arnow, B. A., Jo, B., Rothbaum, B. O., & Etkin, A. (2021). Amygdala and Insula Connectivity Changes Following Psychotherapy for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: A Randomized Clinical Trial. Biological psychiatry, 89(9), 857–867. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2020.11.021

Stein, M. B., Simmons, A. N., Feinstein, J. S., & Paulus, M. P. (2007). Increased Amygdala and Insula Activation During Emotion Processing in Anxiety-Prone Subjects. American Journal of Psychiatry, 164(2), 318–327. https://doi.org/10.1176/ajp.2007.164.2.318