The Connection Between Alcohol Use and Infidelity
by Dr. Denise Renye
Alcohol often plays a role in human relationships. It is present at celebrations, dates, dinners, and even difficult conversations. While many people enjoy alcohol in moderation without significant disruption, research and clinical experience suggest that alcohol use can influence intimacy and fidelity in important ways.
Lowered Inhibitions and Risk-Taking
Alcohol’s most well-known effect is its ability to lower inhibitions. When people drink, their decision-making processes shift. Behaviors they might normally resist, such as flirting with someone outside their relationship, sharing vulnerable details, or crossing physical or emotional boundaries, can suddenly feel easier or less consequential. In these moments, alcohol may make short-term desires feel more urgent than long-term commitments.
Escaping Difficult Emotions
For some, alcohol serves as a temporary escape from relationship stress, conflict, or feelings of disconnection. If someone feels unseen, unloved, or resentful, alcohol may reduce the discomfort enough that they seek comfort or validation outside of their relationship. This does not excuse infidelity, but it does highlight how alcohol can intersect with patterns of avoidance or unmet emotional needs.
Alcohol and Sexual Decision-Making
Intimacy and sexuality are particularly vulnerable areas when alcohol is involved. Studies show that alcohol can impair judgment about sexual consent, contraception, and partner choice. For people in committed relationships, this impairment increases the risk of crossing sexual boundaries that would otherwise be respected.
The Cycle of Shame and Secrecy
Infidelity almost always brings shame, whether alcohol is involved or not. When alcohol is part of the situation, some people may be tempted to minimize responsibility or frame it as “blaming the alcohol.” Others may experience amplified guilt because they feel they should have been more in control. If drinking is tied to secrecy or avoidance, the risk of repeated boundary crossings can grow. This can create a cycle of drinking to cope with guilt, further betrayals, and then drinking again to manage the fallout.
Healing and Moving Forward
Understanding how alcohol can influence infidelity is important for both prevention and repair. Couples may benefit from open, compassionate conversations about how alcohol affects each partner’s choices and comfort level. Setting clear agreements around alcohol use in social or private settings can help protect trust and clarity.
For those who have already experienced betrayal, healing requires honesty, accountability, and often professional support. Therapy can help explore the dynamics beneath the infidelity, including the role of alcohol, unmet needs, or deeper relational patterns. It also provides tools for rebuilding trust and creating healthier ways of coping.
Alcohol can act as a factor that increases risk by lowering inhibitions and impairing judgment, but it does not cause infidelity. Individuals and couples who recognize this connection can make conscious choices around drinking, boundaries, and intimacy to protect their relationships and cultivate awareness.
Frequently Asked Questions About Alcohol and Infidelity
Does alcohol make people more likely to cheat?
Alcohol can increase the likelihood of risky behavior because it lowers inhibitions and impairs judgment. It does not cause cheating, but it can make crossing boundaries more likely.
Why do people cheat when drunk?
Alcohol may reduce self-control or temporarily numb uncomfortable emotions, which can make someone more likely to seek validation or intimacy outside the relationship. Underlying issues such as unmet needs, disconnection, or stress often play a larger role.
Can a relationship recover from cheating while drunk?
Yes, recovery is possible but requires honesty, accountability, and willingness to address the root causes. Therapy can support partners in processing the betrayal, understanding relational patterns, and rebuilding trust.
Is it an excuse to say alcohol caused the infidelity?
No. Alcohol can explain why someone acted impulsively, but it does not absolve responsibility. Each person is accountable for their choices and their impact.
How can couples protect their relationship when alcohol is involved?
Clear agreements about alcohol use, limits on drinking in certain contexts, and open conversations about boundaries, trust, and expectations can help reduce risk and maintain intimacy.