Beyond the Binary: Rethinking Labels and Sexual Orientation

by Dr. Denise Renye

(in honor of Biweek September 16-23rd)

Language helps us make sense of the world. It shapes identity, fosters belonging, and can offer a sense of safety when we find words that reflect who we are. At the same time, language can also constrain us. Nowhere is this more evident than in the evolving conversation about sexual orientation and the labels people use to describe themselves.

For decades, the term bisexual has been an important identifier, offering visibility to people attracted to more than one gender. It has been a powerful word for advocacy, self-acceptance, and community. Yet it also operates within a framework that assumes a gender binary, male and female, as the only categories of attraction. This binary no longer reflects the lived reality of many people today.

We now understand that gender exists along a spectrum. Non-binary, genderqueer, and gender-expansive identities challenge the assumption that there are only two genders. When attraction can encompass identities beyond male and female, some people feel that bisexual does not fully capture their experience. Others continue to use it proudly, reclaiming the term as simply meaning attracted to more than one gender without reinforcing a binary at all.

This tension highlights a deeper truth. Labels are tools, not cages. The words we use for sexual orientation, bisexual, pansexual, queer, fluid, or none at all, carry both cultural history and personal meaning. For some, choosing a label provides clarity and community. For others, labels feel too rigid, especially when attraction itself can be complex, evolving, and expansive.

What matters most is agency, the freedom for each person to choose whether, how, and when to use a label, without being confined by it. As our understanding of gender and sexuality continues to expand, so too must our language. We can honor the history and significance of terms like bisexual while also making room for identities that transcend the binary altogether.

In my work as a psychologist and sex therapist, I support people in exploring their identities, desires, and relationships with curiosity and compassion. If you are navigating questions around sexual orientation or labels, know that you do not have to fit neatly into a box. Your lived experience is valid. Together, we can create language that reflects you, not just the categories society has handed down.