Healing Isn’t Linear: Embracing the Ups and Downs of Growth in Mind, Body, and Sexuality
by Dr. Denise Renye
Healing is often imagined as a straight path, a steady climb from pain to wholeness. In reality, it is rarely linear. Healing is messy, unpredictable, and often uncomfortable. You might take a step forward one day and feel like you have taken two steps back the next. That does not mean you are failing. It is simply part of the process.
As a trauma-informed therapist and sex therapist, I see this pattern often in my work with clients. Trauma, attachment wounds, and challenges with intimacy do not resolve in a straight line. Old emotions can resurface unexpectedly, sometimes triggered by a memory, a conversation, or even a physical sensation in the body. Sexual experiences, pleasure, and intimacy can feel confusing, frustrating, or even retraumatizing at times. You might feel like you have already addressed a particular issue, yet the intensity of the feeling or physical response can return.
At the same time, progress can be subtle. You might notice shifts in how you experience touch, express desire, set boundaries, or communicate with a partner. These embodied changes are signs of growth, even if they are easy to overlook. Healing is as much about the body as it is about the mind, and paying attention to these shifts is essential for sustainable, long-term transformation.
Understanding that healing is not linear allows us to practice self-compassion. Instead of judging yourself for feeling frustrated, triggered, or stuck, you can recognize these experiences as part of your journey. Healing is less about perfection and more about resilience, the ability to return to your own body, your needs, and your values, even when it is difficult.
Setbacks can also provide insight. Feeling triggered or noticing old patterns does not erase progress. Often these moments highlight areas that require further attention, reflection, or compassion. By approaching them with curiosity rather than judgment, you create space for deeper healing and a more integrated relationship with yourself, your sexuality, and your capacity for pleasure.
Healing is cyclical, layered, and profoundly human. Celebrate the small victories. Sit with discomfort when it arises. And remember that each step, whether forward, backward, or sideways, contributes to your growth, your embodiment, and your capacity for authentic connection with yourself and others.
If you are ready to deepen your healing journey, consider reaching out for guidance and support. Working with a trauma-informed therapist or sex therapist can help you navigate the ups and downs with clarity, compassion, and practical tools for growth. You do not have to navigate this path alone. Taking the step to seek support is itself an act of courage and a powerful affirmation that your healing matters.