Why Spirituality and Religion are not the Same

By: Dr. Denise Renye

Religion is the bastardization of spirituality. I know that’s a bold statement and, yes, I do mean it! Some people are squeamish about spirituality because they think it’s the same thing as religion. It’s not. Religion is based on hierarchy. There’s a spiritual figure at the top (God, Jesus, Allah, etc.), a religious teacher in the middle (a priest, rabbi, minister, etc.), and then everyone else at the bottom. Religion operates with the notion that the middle person knows more or has a better relationship with the spiritual figure than the people at the bottom.

These middle people, aka religious leaders, carry out certain rituals regarding the core beliefs of the religion. There are certain ways of doing things in religions. That’s not necessarily a bad thing as many people enjoy the structure and order that religion provides whereas others chafe against it. Something else that’s common with religions are they designate some sites as holy and others as not.

Spirituality is the opposite of everything listed above but what’s confusing is that some religions are more imbued with spirituality than others. There are also mystic sects of every religion that are deeply spiritual so it’s understandable why folx might think spirituality is the same as religion. What is spirituality? It’s a sense of connection to something greater than yourself and can offer meaning as well as purpose in your life.

The big difference with spirituality is it’s not based on hierarchy. There’s no barrier between you and a spiritual figure or force. Instead of a middle person or religious leader telling you what to think or do, there’s direct access. With spirituality, there may be certain rituals (lighting a candle, playing certain music, etc.) but there also may not be. It’s up to you what you do and what you don’t do.

Also, because spirituality is so personal, no one place or site is more sacred or holy than another, objectively speaking. God, Source, Spirit, or whatever name resonates with you, can be everywhere or anywhere: not only a church but also a car, a forest or park, a shopping mall, and more. Yes, there may be a certain spot that’s more special to you but it’s not considered the most sacred spot in all of existence.

Spirituality exists within and between. Spirituality is a space, a landscape, within the self and even potentially between two people or you and whatever greater power you consider important. There is a depth to spirituality that sometimes cannot be put into words. It is something that can be personal and private and it’s OK if other people don’t understand what your expression or understanding of it is.

Others may practice in a similar way and share certain beliefs, but fundamentally, you’re on your own. Also, your spiritual practice may, and likely will, change according to how you change. Maybe at one point you journaled or meditated every day but now you journal or meditate once a week. Instead of being “bad” or “wrong,” it just is. With spirituality, you adapt the practices according to your lifestyle and what works for you instead of a prescribed way of being. Oftentimes, religion categorizes many life things into “good” or “bad” so that is also a big difference between the two.

Some forms of spirituality can be prescribed and ask you to do XYZ but even those are suggestions in service of bringing you closer to a divine force. How quickly or slowly you approach that force is still up to you. You get to pace your own journey whereas in many religions, individual needs are not addressed because it’s hard to create nuance when you’re referencing a group.

  Spiritual disconnection plays a part in addiction, including “socially sanctioned” addictions like compulsive eating. Spiritual disconnection leads to poor treatment of the planet. And cultivating a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself can result in increased emotions that may be more pleasant to experience, according to PositivePsychology.com. Those emotions are ones like peace, awe, and contentment. Emotional and spiritual well-being overlap, like most aspects of well-being.

Ultimately, a spiritual practice can be complementary to therapy and depth coaching because it can help to provide access to the internal world. The internal world is what is accessed during therapy and healing practices. I don’t want people to miss out on the joy, beauty, and potential fulfillment of a spiritual practice because they’re turned off by religion. After all, again, spirituality and religion are not the same.  

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Reference

Miller, Kelly. “The Science of Spirituality: 16 Tips to Build Your Spiritual Practice.” PositivePsychology.com. September 30, 2021. https://positivepsychology.com/science-of-spirituality/