How Compulsive Eating is a Symptom of Patriarchy

By: Dr. Denise Renye

The other day I wrote a blog about how erectile dysfunction is tied to patriarchy. It got me thinking about how many other issues are tied to patriarchy as well. Patriarchy is defined as the social system in which men hold more power than women and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control of property. Under patriarchy, femininity and anything associated with the traditional feminine are devalued whereas masculinity and anything associated with the traditional masculine are prized.

Our capitalistic, hyper-productive society encourages certain behaviors and attitudes that are patriarchal. For instance, we are taught to do more, more, more. Your worth as a human is tied to how much money you make, your social status, and what you’re able to tangibly accomplish on this material plane. It doesn’t seem humanly possible and yet we work, raise families, prepare food, and try to fit in self-care. It’s a lot to juggle.

It’s a lot to juggle because the commonplace 40-hour work week was created at a time when wives stayed home to manage the household. That meant a dedicated individual cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped, and looked after the children (if any). The man earned all of the income for the family. However, these days, it’s hard for a family to survive off of one income and that means people are stretched even more thin because they’re trying to do everything. Instead of providing solutions for people who are struggling by raising wages or offering free childcare, for instance, our society instead praises the busy person who has not only a full-time job, but also a side hustle. In general, we’re impressed by people who do a lot.   

That pressure to just survive can manifest internally as well. Instead of taking time and space for one’s self, numerous people have self-sabotaging coping strategies that encourage them to keep going. One of those socially sanctioned strategies is compulsively overeating, meaning using food to “stuff” down emotions and/or cope with the stress of life. It’s eating a gallon of ice cream after a breakup or a long day. It’s eating a bag of chips when feeling stressed or tired.

Compulsive eating is “fine” just as long as you don’t get fat because in a patriarchal society women and people on that end of the gender continuum are encouraged to take up the least amount of physical space as possible. Eat compulsively to manage the stress that comes from living in a patriarchal society that encourages pushing, striving, and achieving, but make sure you hit the gym afterward. On the other hand, some folx feel more comfortable taking up space with their bodies than with their ideas or expression of self via feelings or emotions.

This sort of behavior disconnects people from themselves and their bodies. It is punitive and demeaning. The behavior is a patriarchal one because the person is doing what society encourages them to do – push through and pay no attention to any feeling. In doing so, the person becomes not only disconnected from themselves, but also from a Higher Power, God, Goddess, Godx, Source, etc. Those divine energies are accessed via a more feminine approach and often through the body. How does one connect with a power greater than themselves? Through slowing down, being still, and listening to what arises internally.

In a society where those feminine characteristics are not taught or valued, it makes sense that instead people will harm themselves or have a dysfunctional relationship with something that is fundamentally nourishing: food. And people will have a dysfunctional relationship with their bodies like they may have had with their caregivers. We need food to live and we need our bodies to exist on this earthly plane. It’s an act of self-care to feed the body but when taken to an extreme, it’s self-harm.

This is not meant to shame anyone. We are all doing what we can to make it through each day. Having compulsive behaviors with food is not a moral issue. Instead, I’m noticing that as much as we harp on supporting individuals with behaviors such as compulsively eating, we also need to change our society as well. We need to encourage rest, quiet, and intrinsic value that is not tied to productivity. Self-love is a radical act in this patriarchal world. Let’s get radical!

For more ideas on how to be radical in this dysfunctional system in which we all exist, subscribe to my newsletter. For more support bolstering self-love, head over here for an audio guide, and if you’re looking for help with mindful eating, check out this meditation.