People often equate denial with lying but sometimes denial isn’t necessarily a conscious act. Denial is instead a coping strategy, a way to hide from emotions like shame, fear, guilt, and distress. However, denial can also be used to hide from emotions like joy, excitement, and pride. Regardless, the common denominator is hiding (avoiding).

Last week I shared with you my perspective as a sexologist on the five circles of sexuality; this week, I want to share sensate focus with you as an exercise to facilitate sensual exploration and discovery with a partner.

he holidays are officially upon us. For some, this time of year is usually filled with travel and/or family gatherings. For others, they are unable or unwilling to see family and instead choose to spend the holidays with friends, chosen family, or possibly on a sojourn or solo retreat.

When it comes to sexuality, most people think of, well, sex. This word is both loaded and very limited. However, there are so many other aspects of sexuality that don’t get nearly enough air time.

I know some people are feeling grief about the difference this year while there may be a wide array of other feelings bubbling to the surface as well. While mainstream media may portray holidays to be joyous,

Doing the practice is more important than having the “right” mat or the “right” clothes. Yoga is a beautiful, expansive practice of the body and the mind and the union of the two. Find a free class online.

As we approach the holiday season and continue with many of the shelter-in-place restrictions that are being re-introduced or re-enforced due to the pandemic, I wanted to address topics that come up often in my work: food, eating, and body image.

A topic that’s coming up consistently right now is change, both on the personal level and the societal level. A specialty in my practice is working with folx who deal with addiction and the underpinnings thereof, which means

I see our current time as an opportunity for us to be less divided, and more integrated, within ourselves. And if we can do that, it just could translate into less division externally as well. If we sit with the internal parts of ourselves that

We spend so much time trying to fit ourselves into a warped, sociocultural reality that it’s no wonder we have such high levels of depression and anxiety. We are born into families that nonverbally require us to fit in and we are conditioned by them in order to do so. Then we go to schools that require

I, like many women and nonbinary folx, keep thinking about Kamala Harris telling Vice President Mike Pence, “I’m speaking,” when he interrupted her during the recent vice-presidential debate. “I’m speaking” is a full sentence and

Outright refusing to denounce White supremacy can be likened to emotional neglect. In short, emotional neglect can be understood as a parent/caregiver’s failing to see and hear (and attunement at a deeper level, through empathic resonance)

In general, if you’re looking for self-care techniques due to political stress, I want to remind you it’s the business model of all media outlets – mainstream, alternative, independent, social media, whatever – to generate clicks and views.

How do ritual and ceremony relate to psychotherapy? Well, psychotherapy too, has aspects of both ritual and ceremony. In terms of ritual, the practices and applications are passed down from generations of practitioners and there is an initiation. The theoretical orientation of clinicians determines

Sex therapy isn’t just about sex – it’s about expression and pleasure and communication. Yes, I’ve worked with people experiencing vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, hypo- and hyperarousal (to name a few), but ultimately what I care about is connecting the body and mind.

As an aside, everything from casual hook-up sex to committed monogamous has room for communication as a way to increase safety, pleasure, and fun. Pleasure and anxiety cannot coexist so remember when you are playing, if anxiety is up, voice it to your partner(s)

Lack of honesty and lack of connection (true connection and acknowledgment) of one’s desires can be traced back to a yearning to stay safe, to protect the constructed self.

How do you identify your boundaries? A good clue comes from feelings. Are you uncomfortable, resentful, stressed, anxious, or fearful? All signs that perhaps your boundaries have been crossed. When boundaries are set and adhered to,

Spending time alone is challenging for many people because it’s not a skill we are taught and there’s pressure in society to not be alone. Restaurants have tables for two, wedding invitations ask if you’re bringing a plus one, and for single folx, a recurring question is, “Are you dating anyone?”

This pandemic is giving us the opportunity to have that emotional revolution because there’s a shared vulnerability. Everyone is impacted by COVID-19 so it’s an easy question to ask someone, “How are you doing?” and encourage an authentic response.