How Ethical Fetish and Kink Play can Heal Trauma

Trauma leaves a lasting impact on a person’s sense of self and affects their mental well-being and intimate connections. There are many ways the body can process trauma and one of them is ethical, consensual fetish and kink play. A fetish is a behavior that someone cannot get sexually aroused without whereas kink is an activity or behavior someone enjoys that goes outside the bounds of “traditional,” or “vanilla” sex. A person may get incredibly turned on by a kink, but not necessarily need it to get off. If they do, it becomes a fetish. Fetishes may be kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes.

Denise RenyeMarch 8, 2024ptsd, trauma, fetish, kink, sex therapy, bdsm, sexology

Are You Dissociating?

Dissociation is common because the mind and body are smart. They act in ways to protect us from something traumatic. Traumatic experiences occur when our nervous systems become overwhelmed, affecting our capacity to cope both physically and on emotional or spiritual levels.

trauma healingDenise RenyeNovember 7, 2023ptsd, dissociation, stres, stress, marin county sexologist

Explore Half-Speed with Trataka Meditation

Trataka meditation is a powerful technique that can help you focus, improve concentration, and reduce anxiety. With so many things going on in the world, it can offer a respite and that’s something we could all use. This potent practice rooted in the ancient traditions of yoga can calm the mind and enhance mental clarity. This technique can not only sharpen your focus and concentration but also aid in alleviating stress and anxiety by promoting a sense of inner stillness. In a fast-paced world filled with distractions, trataka meditation provides a much-needed sanctuary for individuals seeking mental tranquility and a break from the chaos of daily life.

An Invitation as You Navigate the Israel-Palestine Conflict

When you approach someone from a place of curiosity and understanding, they become less of a monster and more of a human. It’s your choice who you connect with right now. You don’t have to cultivate empathy for other people but I encourage you to embrace nuance. Recognize the conflict in the Middle East is complicated and layered. The temptation to sort yourself into a group is very strong right now but, in the end, we’re all just humans, no matter what group we belong to.

Denise RenyeOctober 18, 2023trauma, trauma healing, trauma response, trauma bond, collective trauma healing, israel, palestine, war, ptsd, PTSD

The Paradox of Over-Familiarity: How It Can Decrease Sexual Attraction

While over-familiarity can indeed decrease sexual attraction, it is not an inevitable outcome of a long-term relationship. Couples can take steps to maintain and even reignite their sexual attraction.

Denise RenyeOctober 16, 2023couples therapy, sextherapy, sex therapy, sexuality, sexual healing, ptsd, trauma bond

Setting Limits: An Essential Skill in Addiction Recovery

Through therapy, individuals can develop a clearer understanding of their boundaries, acquire effective communication skills, and overcome guilt and shame associated with asserting their needs. By establishing and maintaining limits, individuals empower themselves, strengthen their sobriety (however that is personally defined).

The Appeal of Astrology and Human Design: Exploring Their Role in Coping with Unresolved Trauma

Trauma can disrupt an individual's life story, making it difficult to find meaning or purpose. Astrology and human design present a narrative framework that weaves together past experiences, present circumstances, and future possibilities. By incorporating these belief systems into their healing journey, individuals can create a cohesive narrative of their lives, which can serve as a catalyst for growth, transformation, and resolution of trauma. It is crucial to recognize that they are not substitutes for professional therapeutic interventions when dealing with unresolved trauma. It is advisable to seek the guidance of mental health professional.

The Identified Patient: Unraveling the Dynamics and Finding Healing

The identified patient is a complex phenomenon that can have profound effects on a family's dynamics. By understanding the roles, dynamics, and underlying issues associated with the IP, families can embark on a journey of healing and growth. By acknowledging the shared responsibility and committing to open communication and professional support, families can move towards healthier, more harmonious relationships. Remember, true healing occurs when all family members actively participate and work together towards a more fulfilling future.

The Link Between Perimenopause and Anxiety

However, one does not necessarily cause the other. Some women go through perimenopause without anxiety or depression. Biology is only one factor, there are others such as life stressors, economic insecurity, racism, past trauma, and many more that may also contribute to the development of anxiety in women during this time of life.

What is Spiritual Bypassing?

We human beings are complex and often, unconsciously and creatively, employ various strategies to avoid pain: primarily addictions and bypassing. Spiritual bypassing is sidestepping or avoiding facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks but talking the talk of an individual who is more “spiritually evolved.”

Watching Your Parents Grandparent

For someone in that situation, it may feel confusing or even like gaslighting. Generally, people want healthy, functional, emotionally regulated parents. There’s grief when that’s not present and why focusing on reparenting yourself can be so healing. To see the sort of parenting you wish you could have received given to your kids, but not to you, can bring up numerous feelings.

trauma healingDenise RenyeDecember 16, 2022ptsd, grandparent, parenting, inner child

The Wisdom in Honoring the Winter Solstice

We can honor the rhythm of winter by withdrawing from the world in ways that feel right. They may feel unfamiliar because we are so conditioned to lean in and be a part of what’s around us instead. Maybe it means staying home more or taking solo walks. Slowing down can feel incredibly challenging because the regular busyness of life often distracts from the feelings inside. If we’re rushing around, it’s harder to notice the body’s cues or to become curious about lingering emotions. Instead, we’re too caught up in our to-do lists to notice what’s happening internally.

ritual and ceremonyDenise RenyeDecember 9, 2022winter solstice, winter, resting, ptds, ptsd, trauma, wellness, health and wellness

Trauma Response: The Part Missing

Fawning looks like codependence. It’s putting someone else’s needs above your own. It’s struggling to say “no” and saying “yes” when you don’t want to. Your orientation is toward other people instead of yourself, “What will make them happy?” not “What will make me happy?” It’s making yourself responsible for other people’s actions and reactions: “I must have done something wrong. If only I’d done XYZ, they wouldn’t be angry/withdrawn/upset, etc.”

Let’s Normalize Self-Care for People with Prostates

I also want to acknowledge that because the prostate is accessible via the anus, and prostate milking can be practiced as a form of sexual pleasure, some folx may feel resistant to using this technique. Because many people continue to subscribe and use heteronormative languaging, they may feel scared and even consider this as “doing something gay.” And at the same time, a body part doesn’t have a sexual orientation. Body parts are neutral. They are attached to people and people are the ones that have sexual orientations.

How Overturning Roe v. Wade May be Affecting Your (Mental) Health

Rigorous, long-term psychological research demonstrates clearly that people who are denied abortions are more likely to experience higher levels of anxiety, lower life satisfaction and lower self-esteem compared with those who are able to obtain abortions. In addition, there is no research to indicate that abortion is a cause for subsequent mental health diagnoses.

How Yoga Nidra Can Help You

yoga nidra can help with issues like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), addiction, insomnia, anxiety, and more. That’s not conjecture, by the way. A study from 2011 found yoga nidra helped war veterans reduce rage, anxiety, and emotional reactivity while increasing feelings of relaxation, peace, self-awareness, and self-efficacy. In 2014, a study by Pamela Pence found sexual trauma survivors reported significant decreases in PTSD symptoms, negative thoughts of self-blame, and depression. They also reported an increased feeling of joy.

Denise RenyeMay 10, 2022yoga, yoga therapy, yoga nidra, PTSD and sexual assault, ptsd, trauma, trauma healing

Honor the Dead to Support the Living

This time of the year, the veils are the thinnest, some say. It's the witchiest time of the year as we are halfway between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice. The darkness is longer than the light and it's a prime time to reflect on our ancestors, life, and death. Death is inevitable and something that we will all experience. Not only the “big death” at the end of our lives, but also smaller deaths like the end of a relationship, losing a furry companion, or letting go of a behavior.

Denise RenyeNovember 2, 2021dio de los muertos, family trauma, trauma bond, trauma, trauma healing, ptsd, ancestors, ancestor therapy, death

Releasing Trauma from the Body

Just as the mind and body registers an event (or events) as traumatic, the mind and body can also release those traumatic events. Here are some techniques I’ve found are helpful for releasing trauma from the body:

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